THEN AND NOW

  
"This is the age
 Of the half-read page.
 And the quick hash
 And the mad dash.
 The bright night
 With the nerves tight.
 The plane hop
 With the brief stop.
 The lamp tan
 In a short span.
 The Big Shot
 In a good spot.
 And the brain strain
 The heart pain.
 And the cat naps
 Till the spring snaps --
 And the fun's done!"
 
Sound familiar? But wait -- this poem was actually published in
The Saturday Evening Post in 1949, under the title, "Time of the
Mad Atom." Seems that people were as rushed then as they are now!

LATIN PHRASES YOU CAN USE EVERY DAY!

Originally forwarded by Alice Gomez and published in Tom Gill Predicts in October 2000, here are (at least allegedly...)

Common Latin phrases you can use every day.
-----------------

 Perscripto in manibus tabellariorum est.
 The check is in the mail.


 Dulci fruere.
 Have a nice day.


 Mihi ignosce. Cum homine de cane debeo congredi.
 Excuse me. I've got to see a man about a dog.


 Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
 I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.


 Magister Mundi sum!
 I am the Master of the Universe!


 Fac me cocleario vomere!
 Gag me with a spoon!


 Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?
 Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?


 Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
 I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.


 Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.
 I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult.


 Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo.
 Don't call me, I'll call you.


 Vacca foeda
 Stupid cow


 Raptus regaliter
 Royally screwed


 Canis meus id comedit.
 My dog ate it.


 Fac ut gaudeam.
 Make my day.


 Braccae illae virides cum subucula rosea et tunica Caledonia-quam elenganter concinnatur!
 Those green pants go so well with that pink shirt and the plaid jacket!


 Visne saltare? Viam Latam Fungosam scio.
 Do you want to dance? I know the Funky Broadway.


 Flexilis sum, gluten es, me resilit, ad te haeret.
 I'm rubber, you're glue, bounces off me, sticks to you.


 Radix lecti
 Couch potato


 Spero nos familiares mansuros.
 I hope we'll still be friends.


 Mellita, domi adsum!
 Honey, I'm home!


 Ventis secundis, tene cursum.
 Go with the flow.


 Totum dependeat.
 Let it all hang out.


 Prehende uxorem meam, sis!
 Take my wife, please!


 Vescere bracis meis.
 Eat my shorts.


 Sic faciunt omnes.
 Everyone is doing it.


 Fac ut vivas.
 Get a life.

 Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!
 If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high- paying world of Latin!


 Sona si Latine loqueris.
 Honk if you speak Latin.

ACTUAL NOTES TO LANDLORDS

Excerpted from Tom Gill Predicts Vol. XV No. XI, October 1, 2000, from an email circulated around the Internet and forwarded to me by Hiram Jackson.
****************************************************************

GENUINE EXCERPTS FROM LETTERS SENT TO LANDLORDS:

1. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.

2. I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

3. This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.

4. The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?

5. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.

6. I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

7. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

8. The person next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

9. Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk.
Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.

10. Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.

11. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny color and not fit to drink.

12. Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap.  My wife got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.

13. When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and made a mess.  Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy. 

FUN ON A FIELD TRIP!

[Note: Many years ago, the Fallbrook Gem and Mineral Society
conducted a field trip to a rare-earth pegmatite at the Southern Pacific
Silica Quarry, located in the Lakeview Mountains of Riverside County,
California. A number of interesting things were collected at this site:
asterated quartz, tourmaline, monazite, Herb's truck, cyrtolite,
xenotime, thorogummite, ... Wait a minute! Herb's truck? Yes, while FGMS
member Herb Sulsky was busy collecting specimens in the quarry, thieves
were busy "collecting" Herb's truck from where it was parked.

Although disasters of various kinds do occur during field trips, they
are not always restricted to trips taken by amateurs. The following
article describes the events that occurred during a geological field
conference that was sponsored by and for an association of professional
geologists. While the disaster described therein doesn't compare to
theft of personal property or injury, it does illustrate the kinds of
things that can go wrong during any organized activity.

Incidently, Herb's truck was eventually found--in pieces. So, now Herb
has a new truck to drive (with a state-of-the-art anti-theft system
installed) and a story to tell.

While it won't make up for the loss of his truck, we'll dedicate the
following to Herb. The story is true.]

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sixty years ago: The Fourth Field Conference sponsored by the New
Mexico Geological Society, a tour of southwest New Mexico and southeast
Arizona, began at El Paso Thursday morning, October 15, 1953. After
examining Paleozoic and Cretaceous rocks in the vicinity of El Paso, the
caravan passed northward to Las Cruces and Caballo and westward through
Hillsboro and Kingston to Silver City. On Saturday, the conference
visited the Tyrone, Santa Rita and White Signal mining districts and
returned to Silver City for a banquet at the Murray Hotel. On Sunday,
the fourth day, the group drove from Silver City to Lordsburg, then
westward across Steins Pass to Wilcox and Dos Cabezas, Arizona, where
the caravan disbanded.

Edward C. "Ed" Beaumont, then with the U.S. Geological Survey, was general
chairman. Ed's comments of April 1977, expurgated slightly, provide
deeper insight into the conference ... "This was a four-day field trip
as opposed to the usual three-day trip. We spent one day in the El Paso
area and thus suffered from two nights of exposure to the Juarez
influence. For some reason in 1953, the geologists in general seemed to
be a little `woolier.' I recognize that I was considerably younger, but
I began to have serious doubts whether even a majority of those
registered would ever make it aboard for the final caravan run out of El
Paso the second day. I can't blame it all on Juarez because a certain
service company managed to keep a portable den of iniquity going 24
hours a day from the night of registration right on through the end of
the field trip. Reportedly, neither representative of this company ever
made any pretense at sleeping other than an occasional `catnap' while
the other was driving. Another service company vied with the first to
supply refreshments to the crowd, and provided all of the beer we could
drink along the way. Except for the more intense competition between
service companies, the situation was not much different from more recent
trips. However, on this occasion, if beer wasn't sufficient, you could
always go to the backseat of the truck of the number one service company
to obtain whatever common or exotic form of hard liquor that you might
desire.

"Lack of manpower was a major problem. One of the chairmen listed in the
guidebook was never even seen. He and I later became good friends, but
in the preparation period and during the trip I didn't even know what
the man looked like. Four out of the other five trip arrangements
chairmen, including both of the caravan chairmen, were unable to attend
the field conference. Naturally, this placed a considerable burden on
myself. Fortunately, I had made an intensive dry run through the route,
and with the aid of Phil Hayes and some excellent flagmen we were able
to handle the parking at the various stops along the route without any
undue confusion.

"In the earlier years of our field tripping we were required by state
law to have two state police patrol vehicles accompany us both in New
Mexico and in Arizona. The two patrolmen from New Mexico succumbed early
in the afternoon to booze supplied by the unnamed service company.
Before long, we were receiving less than a lot of protection from our
highway patrol escorts. One of the most frightening memories etched
deeply into my mind is a recollection of the downhill race on the west
side of the Black Range (this was before the road was paved) between the
highway patrol lead car and one of the service company cars. I was
riding with the patrolman and I must confess that I saw very little of
what was happening because I was crouched on the back floor waiting for
what I knew had to be the inevitable crash or roll. Somehow we managed
to make it safely to the bottom of the mountain and to the town of
Silver City.

"However, our problems weren't over because we were met on the outskirts
of Silver City by a representative of the Silver City Police Department
who informed us that due to the press of traffic in the rush hour we
would not be permitted to take the caravan into town. We were diverted
to a parking lot on the outskirts of town some six or seven blocks from
the hotel which was our headquarters and the stopping point for most of
the field trippers. I argued with the city police, but I could not
prevail and we were forced to make our way on foot or by thumb into
town. Sometime after 8 p.m., as I recall, the cars in the caravan were
allowed to come on into town. The next day was relatively uneventful,
but that evening, thanks to the seemingly unlimited supply of booze, we
had a `rip-roaring' banquet. I am sure that several things of note
occurred thereat, but I for one was beyond caring and don't remember too
many of the details of the evening.

"A bit of a nightmare begins with the next morning. We were assembled
around the town square on Sunday morning awaiting our police escort.
They were late and I was sitting in the sound car assuring the assembled
group, most of whom were hung over even worse than they had been in El
Paso, that we would be getting underway momentarily. Then someone--I
don't recall who it was--came along and announced that one of our state
police officers had been thrown in jail and we would be delayed until
such time as we could get him released. I was so stunned that I just sat
there, demoralized, with the microphone open, and, to my chagrin, I
exclaimed in a tone that was heard throughout downtown Silver City, `Oh,
--!.' Eventually we decided to send the caravan on ahead with the other
state patrolman driving the lead car. Somehow, we then managed to get
the incarcerated state cop released.

"The caravan was 30 or 40 miles down the highway driving toward
Lordsburg by the time we got things straightened out and got underway
ourselves. One of the service company cars had remained with us, and
thus the two cars started off down the narrow road out of Silver City.
Apparently, it seemed to the others involved (but not to me!) that this
was a good time for another race. The service company boys took off down
the highway at `breakneck' speed with the state patrolman, who was,
incidentally, hung over about as bad as a man can be and still live, in
hot pursuit. We attained speeds in the vicinity of 100 miles per hour at
which time even the bravest of the brave decided it was time to slow
down. But, the bravest of the brave did not happen to include our state
patrolman. He decided that it would be fun to nudge the service company
trucks at speeds in the vicinity, right at, or perhaps exceeding 100
miles per hour. I have never seen two guys blanch so completely as those
service company boys when their car was being gently nudged ahead, and
at the same time, they were trying to slow down. The state patrolman
thought this was hilarious, and it actually seemed to revive his
spirits. I might note that he had been jailed, so the story goes, for
having gotten drunk and attempting to molest his ex-wife, who at that
time was the current girlfriend of the sheriff. How we survived all of
this I am not sure. But, I'm certain that I used up a few of my nine
lives during the course of this trip.

"Perhaps it was the contrast, or, more probably, it was actually as good
as I remember, but one of the real highlights of this trip was the
feeding of the field trippers by the Women's Club of Wilcox, Arizona. A
town like Wilcox offers very few facilities that can take care of
several hundred persons on a trip like this. So, we were very fortunate
to have the ladies of this small town undertake to provide the lunch for
our group as a fund-raising project. They did a fantastic job; they had
beans that I will never forget and hot fresh bread and many other tasty
dishes including fresh pie for dessert.

"I had bad dreams for several years as a result of having been general
chairman for this trip. But now, more than 20 years later, I am able to
laugh again instead of cry when think back to the Fourth Field Conference."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The preceding article was published in the June 1993 issue of
Lithosphere, the official bulletin of the Fallbrook [California] Gem and
Mineral Society, Inc; Richard Busch (Editor).  It was noted by the
editors that the material is in the public domain, and may be republished freely.