Arellano's Law

"Blood is thicker than water, but it's not thicker than horchata." - Gustavo Arellano

Originally appeared in his column "Ask A Mexican," 8/3/2017: 
https://www.ocweekly.com/how-hard-is-it-to-be-a-hyphenated-mexican-8303069/

NASH'S LAW

 "A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of." - Ogden Nash

GROTHE'S LAW

"Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you." - Dr. Mardy Grothe, anthologist, the title of his 1999 book, a collection of chiasmus examples.

BARRY'S LAW

 "Never hang around with people who have access to both mixed drinks and dart-shooting weapons."- Humorist Dave Barry

GILL'S APPLICATION OF THE TRAGEDY OF THE COMMONS TO RITCHIE'S RULE

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. 
Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. 
Teach the entire village to fish, and soon there will be no fish left in the lake.
- Tom Gill, applying the "tragedy of the commons" concept to the well-known saying first known to have been written by Ann Ritchie in her novel Mrs. Dymond.

LAMOTT'S LAW

"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes... including you." - writer Anne Lamott.

ROOSEVELT'S LAW

"I don't care how much you know, until I know how much you care."- Attributed to Teddy Roosevelt

HARTFORD'S ADVICE

"Don't get famous (for) doing something you don't like doing." - Musician John Hartford

LEIBER'S LAW

"In good times, magicians are laughed at. They're a luxury of the spoiled wealthy few. But in bad times, people will sell their souls for magic cures and buy perpetual motion machines to power their war rockets."- Fritz Leiber, "Poor Superman," quoted by Paul McAuley​

MARIBEL'S MAXIM

"If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got."
- Maribel Martinez, February 13th, 2015.

DORNBUSCH'S LAW OF ECONOMICS

"In economics, things take longer to happen than you think they will, and then they happen faster than you thought they could." - Economist Rudiger Dornbusch

THE FIRST LAW OF WEATHER TWITTER

"The quantity of nonsense increases with wind speed." - Overheard at a weather conference in 2018

GILL's 19TH LAW

Pipes at home leak and burst and start flooding five minutes after everyone has left for the day to go to work.  Pipes at the workplace burst and leak and start flooding five minutes after everyone has left for the day to go home.

BELL'S LAW

If truth were the order of the day, it would be our last day. 
- Radio talk show host Art Bell, 3/11/1999

HOPPER'S OBSERVATION

"The middle of 'Life' is 'If'."
-Attributed to Dennis Hopper.

KARL'S LAW

"Like my grandmother used to say, dog don't howl if he has a bone."
- Karl Schweda, in Paul McAuley's novel "Something Coming Through," last paragraph of Chapter 42.

DOUG GOTTLIEB'S LAW

"Things don't happen in a vacuum, and that's a good thing, because vacuums suck." - Doug Gottlieb, Fox Sports Radio, said on his show @GottliebShow on May 16, 2017. 

BOYD'S LAW

"Only people who know an awful lot know how little they know." - Anne Boyd*
*Source: https://twitter.com/theparsley/status/1027954053089832963

GARCIA'S FIRST LAW

"You ain't gonna learn what you don't wanna know." 
- Jerry Garcia

GILL'S 89TH LAW

"Cows may come and cows may go, but bull goes on forever." - Tom Gill, sometime in 2017.