a1b1's Law Of Science

“Nobody believes the results obtained/presented by a theorist/modeler except the theorist/modeler herself. Everybody believes the data obtained/ presented by an experimentalist except the experimentalist himself."

https://xykademiqz.com/2016/12/14/phd-defense-grumpiness/#comments

DEMING'S (DEMMING"S) RULE

"Deming's Rule" is an aphorism in industrial engineering and management, based on a principle promulgated by engineer and statistician W. Edwards Deming (1900- 1993).  His name is sometimes misspelled Demming, and the rule itself is sometimes given incorrectly, as I learned in an online discussion this week.

Basically, Deming's Rule can be stated as, "85% of a worker's effectiveness is determined by the system he/she works within, only 15% by the worker's own skill."  It is also often stated as, "85% of the problems/mistakes in the workplace are caused by the management and/or the physical infrastructure, and only 15% are the fault of the workers themselves." It is also sometimes reported as, "85% of faults lie with systems, processes, structures and practices of an organization, and 15% are due to operator/worker skill/error." 

Sometimes 95%/5% is quoted rather than 85%/15%.

OUGHTON'S RULE OF PREVENTION

 https://twitter.com/MatthewOughton/status/1370750670849110017

SEATON'S LAW

"It's never the product's fault.  Pencils don't misspell words, guns don't shoot people and the product isn't at fault."- Katy Jane Seaton, executive director of the High Plains Winegrowers Association

Excerpt from news story: "Seaton also grows cotton, like many wine grape growers in the High Plains. She says she does not believe the chemical itself is responsible — it's about the herbicide's applicators, she says, and the relationships that they have with their neighbors." 

https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2018/08/21/638588456/west-texas-vineyards-blasted-by-herbicide-drift-from-nearby-cotton-fields

DILBERT'S SALARY THEOREM

"Dilbert's Salary Theorem," based on the cartoon character Dilbert by Scott Adams, states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as executives and salespersons." 

The theorem is based on the following two well-known sayings: "knowledge is power," and "time is money." 

From physics,

Power = Work/Time

but since it is given,

Knowledge = Power 

Time = Money

therefore:

Knowledge = Work/Money

Solving for Money, thus

Money = Work/Knowledge

Therefore, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Thus: The less you know, the more you make.

DUQUETTE'S LAW AFTER DaVINCI, McCRAY'S VERSION, DUQUETTE'S RESPONSE, and LAWSON'S OBSERVATION

Duquette's Law: "...'Art is never finished, only abandoned. -- da Vinci.' Also goes for research papers." - Nic Duquette, on Twitter:

https://twitter.com/NicDuquette/status/1027942719086153728

McCray's Version: "(Research) papers are never finished, just abandoned."

https://twitter.com/Er1caD/status/1028065330676084742?s=20

Duquette's Resonse: "Everything is a remix. Da Vinci probably was quoting somebody else too."

https://twitter.com/NicDuquette/status/1028071606432583680?s=20

Lawson's Observation: "Research is art."

https://twitter.com/EdwardLawsonJr/status/1028088556819042305?s=20

CHEKHOV'S LAW

 “When a lot of remedies are suggested for a disease, that means it cannot be cured.” - Anton Chekhov

JORDAN'S DICHOTOMY

"Nothing makes you feel young like going to a trampoline park. 

Nothing makes you feel old again like the day after going to a trampoline park."

- Jason Jordan, on Twitter, 5/25/17

https://twitter.com/kc5knd/status/867798100123013120

THE UNIVERSAL LAWS OF BIRDING

 These have apparently been going around the Internet for some time.  They were shared on the El Paso Audubon Society web page by John Groves.

THE UNIVERSAL LAWS OF BIRDING

In the early days of the Internet, before various websites, NYSbirds, and the networking sites scattered across the World Wide Web, there were the CompuServe Forums. A group of birders “met” on the Birding Forum, where they discussed the burning birding issues of the day and developed what is now known as The Universal Laws of Birding. These laws have been scattered around the Internet, appearing in various guises, and have now been revised, modified for conciseness, or otherwise updated by one of the original creators and contributors.

THE SACRIFICIAL LAMB LAW. On a stake out for a rarity, the bird will only show up after the “sacrificial lamb” needs to use the restroom, get hot chocolate, or has to leave. The “lamb” should be spared the bad news, and instead be presented with a jar of mint jelly. (See YSHBH Constant)

THE SPITEFUL AVOIDANCE LAW. If you don’t see the bird within a certain amount of tries, it becomes insulted and deliberately avoids you from then on, becoming your “Nemesis Bird” or Oiseau de Malheur. (Arie Gilbert)

THE CASUAL INCANTATION LAW. This takes place by the offhand mentioning of a bird and then the bird appears. (Arie Gilbert)

THE COAST IS CLEAR LAW. The birds will only come out after you have begun to leave. Sometimes you can trick the birds into coming out by loudly announcing that you are leaving and starting to move in that direction. (Jim Frazier)

THE RARE BIRD ALERT RAZOR. Never assume the rare bird line has been updated, or that everyone going to see a bird will in turn post a message. Just because the bird has not been reported doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not still there. (Ann Johnson)

THE LAW OF IRONIC ABUNDANCE. You may look for a particular bird for 20 years without finding it, but once you do find it, they will be everywhere and robin-like in their numbers. (Carolyn Hoffman)

THE PHOTOGRAPHIC PARADOX. Your best photographic opportunities occur when you leave your camera behind. (Arie Gilbert)

THE LAW OF INDIRECT OBSERVATION. You will learn more about the variation in Herring Gulls in 30 minutes of looking for a Thayer’s Gull than you will in a lifetime of looking at Herring Gulls. ( Jim Bangma)

THE LAW OF AVIAN FIELD MARK MODESTY. Whenever you are without a field guide and cannot ID a bird, the field marks you think are important are not. When you do have a field guide, and there is an important field mark, the bird never lets you see it. (Carolyn Hoffman)

THE LAW OF PROPORTIONAL OBSERVABILITY. If there are two or more birds in a tree and one is a rarity, the only one you can’t see is the rarity. (Bill Elrick)

THE YSHBH CONSTANT. Upon arriving late at the site of a bird reported on the RBA and finding a group of birders already there you will be told “You Should Have Been Here xx minutes ago. The bird just flew.” (Joe DiCostanzo)

THE INVERSE DISTANCE WATERFOWL LAW. The rarer the duck or goose, the further from shore it will be. On an enclosed body of water, it will always be on the diametrically opposite shore from you and this shore will always be private land or otherwise inaccessible. (Joe DiCostanzo)

THE LUCK OF THE DISINTERESTED LAW. At any stakeout for a rare bird at which a large number of birders have assembled, one birder will usually have dragged along an uninterested, non-birding friend or relative. The non-birder almost inevitably will be the one who looks the other way or wanders off and finds the sought after bird. (Joe DiCostanzo)

THE YELLOWLEGS CONSTANT. If a Lesser Yellowlegs and a Greater Yellowlegs are next to each other, someone invariably comments: “There’s a good size comparison.” (Jim Frazier)

THE MATERNAL CONSTANT. Whenever a group of birders finds a cluster of new ducklings, gosling or any other cute and adorable group of young birds, you’ll always hear a chorus of “aaawwwwwhhhhhhhh.” (Jim Frazier)

THE LAW OF AUGMENTED RETURNS. AKA Eric’s Observation: Extremely rare birds are often initially misidentified as common birds, so few birders look at them twice, let alone once. Eventually, someone correctly identifies the bird, opening the flood gates to scores of birders coming to see it.( Eric Miller)

THE LESS IS MORE LAW. When birding in a group someone may stay behind because they are tired etc. Upon return of the group they are informed that most or more birds were seen right from that location.

THE METEOROLOGICAL PARADOX. Whenever the weather is unseasonably nice, the birds you are seeking are also enjoying the good weather. Elsewhere. (Ian Resnick)

THE PATAGONIA PICNIC TABLE EFFECT. The persistence of a rarity at any location leads to more and more rarities being discovered there because of the increased coverage by birders.   (Note by Tom Gill: This or variants thereof also applies to tornado chasing, stamp and coin collecting, etc.)

THE OUT OF TOWN LAW. Whenever you travel away from your local patch (usually on some exotic, expensive birding trip), the local Rare Bird Report has observation submissions - the entire time you are away - of State Firsts or Seconds, of any number of species. And they all take wing, never to be seen again, one day before your return. (Eileen Schwinn)   (Also applies to storm chasers: I've heard them lament that they drove 400 miles hoping to see a tornado, they don't, but while they were gone a photogenic twister spun up just minutes from home while they were gone.  The Less is More Law also applies to storm chasing, antique hunting, etc. in this sense.)

SCULLY'S MUSING

 Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?"

-- Frank Scully, American journalist

PELTON'S STEPFATHER'S LAW

 "Always sell the thing that people want, to the people with the most money."- Adventurer Robert Young Pelton's stepfather, who was a hydrologist for the government of Saudi Arabia (who had too many  people looking for oil but a need for, and lack of people exploring for, water.)

HOGUE'S LAW

"When you flush a toilet, the loudest noise is the final gurgle."- John Hogue

Schuette's Law

"Congress is not the sole suppository of wisdom."-- U.S. Representative Bill Schuette of Michigan, running for the Senate, October 8, 1989

HEINLEIN'S ADAGE

 "The old adage 'the early bird gets the worm' just means the worm should have stayed in bed."- Attributed to author Robert Heinlein.

DUCHOVNY'S DENT DICTUM

 http://ew.com/article/2016/04/15/david-duchovny-book-bucky-dent-seth-meyers/

April  15, 2017- David Duchovny’s newest novel, Bucky F*ing Dent, takes its name from a 1978 playoff game between the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox, in which the titular Yankees player devastated Red Sox fans with an unexpected home run. (The colorful epithet is his eternal punishment from angry New England residents.) That climactic game does show up in the book, but as Duchovny explained to Seth Meyers on Thursday, the name and event are more thematic touchstones for the novel’s story of a complicated father/son relationship.

“One of the characters says towards the end of the book, ‘It’s never Micky Mantle who kills you. Never Babe Ruth or Willie Mays. Never the guy you prepare for. It’s always the head cold that kills you. It’s Bucky F*ing Dent,'” Duchovny said. “It becomes like a eulogy for the losers in life, and the underdogs in a way. That’s kind of the underpinning of the whole book.”

KNOX'S OBSERVATION

"Where there's smoke, there's either fire *or* a big smoke machine." - John Knox

TYSON'S LAW

"Anyone can have a plan until they get punched in the face." -Mike Tyson

BRESLIN'S LAW

 "If you do not blow your own horn, there's no music." - Jimmy Breslin

RIITTERS' RULE

 "well-documented junk is still junk.’’- 

Kurt Riiters, "Creativity Abhors Prescription," 2011, doi:10.1007/s10980-011-9673-4

NISKER'S SUGGESTION

 "If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own."-  Tag line of Wes "Scoop" Nisker, newsman for KSAN radio in San Francisco in the 1970s.

https://www.sfgate.com/style/article/A-liberal-Scoop-of-wit-and-sanity-3152235.php