IDIOTS

This was originally published in March 2001 in TOM GILL PREDICTS Volume 15 No. 48, from an item originally forwarded 

by Theresa Castor. It still resonates today!

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 IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact
the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00
a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time
window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call
you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to
do that, since our phones weren't working.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: OK, this was before mobile phones were as ubiquitous.]

 
IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.
She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the
card was signed.  When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary
to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the
credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to
the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they
matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and
he didn't want them to cross there anymore.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for "only a little lettuce." He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I
was crossing with an intellectectually-challenged coworker of mine when
she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals
blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on
earth are blind people doing driving?!"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who was leaving the
company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is
fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just
looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn
on.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried
the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to
the technician, "It's open!"  To which he replied, "I know - I already got
that side."

NOW DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER?