PUNOGRAPHY

This week we provide a compendium of puns.  This collection has been going around the Internet for years... author unknown.
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• I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

• When chemists die, they barium.

• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

• How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

• The Energizer bunny was arrested and charged with battery.

•  I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

• What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

• Broken pencils are pointless.

• What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

• All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The cops have nothing to go on.

• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

• Velcro - what a rip off!

• Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

• Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

• Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

• I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure......