(This has been going around the Internet lately, and probably for a long time. My apologies to the original author, if there really is one; and to whoever forwarded this to me.)
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1. The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
2. The sinking of the Titanic must have been a miracle to the lobsters
in the kitchen.
3. Instead of all the prequel and sequel movies coming out, they should
start making requels -
films shot in the same time period as the original film, but from an entirely
different perspective.
4. X88B88 looks like the word "voodoo" reflecting off of
itself.
5. April Fool's Day is the one day of the year that people critically
evaluate news articles before accepting them as true.
6. Websites should post their password requirements on their login
pages so I can remember WTF I needed to do to my normal password to make it
work on their site.
7. Now that cellphones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty
soon it will be okay to push people into pools again.
8. I had to use an unblocker to watch Argo on the Canadian Netflix. I was
an American who had to pretend to be Canadian to watch a movie about Americans
who have to pretend to be Canadians making a movie.
9. Maybe 'Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?' isn't a show that
displays how stupid grown adults can be, but rather, a show that depicts how
much useless information we teach grade schoolers that won't be retained or
applicable later in life.
10. Last night my friend asked to use a USB port to charge his
cigarette, but I was using it to charge my book. The future is stupid.
11. When Sweden is playing Denmark, it is SWE-DEN. The remaining
letters, not used, is DEN-MARK.
12. "Go to bed, you'll feel better in the morning" is the
human version of "Did you turn it off and turn it back on again?"
13. In the future, imagine how many Go-Pros will be found in snow
mountains containing the last moments of people's lives.
14. We should have a holiday called Space Day, where lights are to be
shut off for at least an hour at night to reduce light pollution, so we can see
the galaxy.
15. Your shadow is a confirmation that light has traveled nearly 93
million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the
final few feet thanks to you.
16. Senior citizen discounts should just round dollar amounts down so
we don't have to wait in line behind them while they dig for change.
17. I have never once hit the space bar while watching a YouTube video
with the intention of scrolling halfway down the page
18. Since smart watches can now read your pulse, there should be a
feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating.
19. Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds super rad if you don't
know what either of those things are.
20. The person who would proof read Hitler's speeches was literally a
grammar Nazi.
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