ADVENTURES IN VOICE MAIL AUTOTRANSLATION

My workplace has a voice mail system that automatically emails me a translation of every message left for me.  Well, its attempt at a translation.  It obviously leaves something to be desired.  Here are some examples.

I Chris I check out my name is Nicole in grand and I have a nice evening except I was planning on nevertheless I'm a paper clip class and turn. Anyhow I am still currently in between the PCCNU tap and so she's I'm calling from the US was just German the finest along with the West a bit more information and I read the course description and I wanted to talk to you little bit in detail so if you had a chance that'd be awesome to talk to you otherwise I can send you an email thank you very much and recognizing large happy new year was just developed bye.

Hey professor Gill this is Omar Van Bus Man been is for with fiery bus man’s. I was calling to introduce myself I'm your new falling consultant here at fiery bus man’s taking over from William almost and wanted to take a moment to set up an appointment so looking for a few small self logo overhauls can support you falling forward when it comes to your details and plan if you discover fiery bus man's landed in a modern sense would please give me a call back at your convenience my direct phone number is toll free (redacted) and my personal extension is (redacted).

Hi mom this is trying in that in the torsion pressure leadership I'm calling you back I reached a short and special development -- I will try -- and invite you in the office I will try calling you back a little later and hopefully we will be able to love you okay connect to talking to you bye.

Hi yes Dr. Gill my name is bobby call out.  I was interested in your says see offer that -- owner on portion weather next -- that would be geode three American medium century -- my number is 32 driving -- for five out – out call lotions. Thank you.

Hi John this is a deli calling in hope everything's going okay otherwise touch base with you regarding the luncheon but not for the fish. -- For when they could send it down sorry -- just wanted for fire in brownie but my bladder what so not wanted touch you that also I don't know -- wanted to also be browse maybe my bladder invites.

"Hey Thomas Crag Tweedy my double goes well looking forward to retching you up. Yet -- could you give me a call when you get a chance at – (redacted) need to talk to you that a few other struggling that these two sockets and mouth fart. Thank you brian's on handed to them so thanks nine I would really appreciate it if you landed on them thank you bye."

"Oh come down Thomas after spring borough after wonder break I just sent a limit here I just sent you an email asking where to put my dust collector since we're likely to get some of that wonderful stuff today and I've been a disease and I know you are I've thought you might be stronger than the moon me off told to light for made a catch any so that's why I am with the movie beautiful pictures I'd that's why I called anyway talk to you later exchange emails with you later thank you bye."

  

Voice Mail (51 seconds)(NOTE THE LENGTH OF THE MESSAGE)
Fri 5/13/2016 1:10 PM
"Hey."

"Hi tech gill this is Danny calling from lisp my extension is ***** I tried calling in for five weeks and I know you said in print to go to mass in the future I believe I'm calling in regards to you I could set up vacation E sick I sent me some time but I just wanted to keep anything it could assist us bird toes or if you'd like to maybe set up the meeting 10:30 do you have to date JFK she is pending and if you can call me back at your convenience area emailing me at DESSITT dot edu or my extension is *** for high CIA conference call care please let me know if I can copy of anything thank you appreciate bye bye."