WHY?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

�

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

�

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

�

What disease did cured ham actually have?

�

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

�

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours crying?

�

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON television?

�

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

�

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.

�

Why do all toasters have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

�

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

�

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

�

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

�

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

�

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

�

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

�

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

�

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four

billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

�

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

�

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

�

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

�

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

�

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

�

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

�

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

�

Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner,

then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

�

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

�

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

�

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

�

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

�

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?