Abbott and Costello at the Computer Store (Author Unknown)

(Material forwarded to us- thanks!) You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this.  For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on... If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this: COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT  ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO : Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT : Mac? COSTELLO : No, the name's Lou. ABBOTT : Your computer? COSTELLO : I don't own a computer. I want to buy one. ABBOTT : Mac? COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. ABBOTT : What about Windows? COSTELLO : Why? Will it get stuffy in here? ABBOTT : Do you want a computer with Windows? COSTELLO : I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows? ABBOTT : Wallpaper. COSTELLO : Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software. ABBOTT : Software for Windows? COSTELLO : No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have? ABBOTT : Office. COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? ABBOTT : I just did. COSTELLO : You just did what? ABBOTT : Recommend something. COSTELLO : You recommended something? ABBOTT : Yes. COSTELLO : For my office? ABBOTT : Yes. COSTELLO : OK, what did you recommend for my office? ABBOTT : Office. COSTELLO : Yes, for my office! ABBOTT : I recommend Office with Windows. COSTELLO : I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal.  What do I need? ABBOTT : Word. COSTELLO : What word? ABBOTT : Word in Office. COSTELLO : The only word in office is office. ABBOTT : The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO : Which word in office for windows? ABBOTT : The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'. COSTELLO : I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO : That's right. What do you have? ABBOTT : Money. COSTELLO : I need money to track my money? ABBOTT : It comes bundled with your computer. COSTELLO : What's bundled with my computer? ABBOTT : Money. COSTELLO : Money comes with my computer? ABBOTT : Yes. No extra charge. COSTELLO : I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? ABBOTT : One copy. COSTELLO : Isn't it illegal to copy money? ABBOTT : Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. COSTELLO : They can give you a license to copy money? ABBOTT : Why not? THEY OWN IT! (A few days later...) ABBOTT : Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO : How do I turn my computer off? ABBOTT : Click on 'START'.............

TOM GILL PREDICTS Volume 15, 2000-2001, is preserved on the Internet Wayback Machine. Check it out!

The following is a brief compilation of the real, honest-to-God names of actual persons.

Dipping into the archives of "Classic TGP" once again!

The following is a brief compilation of the real, honest-to-God names of actual persons.
   Mr. Odor Funkhouse -- perfume shop owner in San Francisco.
   Sadie Longtimesleeping -- a Native American woman whose name first appeared
        in print in her obituary.
   The Rev. Walter J. Boring -- preacher in Santa Cruz County.
   Rotten Pumpkin -- later changed his name legally to Robert Pumpion.
   Mr. Cashmere Tango Obedience -- another Santa Cruz resident.  For many
        years his name was listed in the telephone book, but he had to take
        it out this year because he was getting too many crank calls.
   Frances Flex -- competitive female body builder, also of Santa Cruz.
   Wylie Crook -- Clerk of Retton, Washington, in 1944.  His successful
        campaign slogan was "Put a Wylie Crook in Office."
   Mr. Grimm -- professor at the San Francisco College of Mortuary Science.
   Patience Scales -- a piano teacher from San Francisco.
   Carol Buttons of Winnipeg, Canada married a Mr. Bob Bows...
   Zippitydoo Dawe -- lives in Texas.  His father explained to the press,
        "If he doesn't like his name when he grows up, well then, he can
        just go change it."
And a few people from the medical profession:
   Dr. Pullum -- dentist in Taft, CA.
   Dr. Au (pronounced "ow!") -- physician in Newark, CA.
   Iodine Borzikacid -- pharmacist.
   Ida Tumor -- nurse in the cancer ward of a V.A. hospital.
   Dr. Seymour Polk -- gynecologist in Los Gatos, CA.
   Dr. Sugar -- dentist in Michigan.
   Dr. Smelzy -- Michigan podiatrist.
   Dr. Bonebreak -- chiropractor in Santa Cruz, CA.
   Fanny Hertz -- actual name of a hemmorhoid patient.
   Dr. Melvin Peabrain  -- physician in Modesto, CA.

Source: "Tom Gill Predicts," Volume VII, Number xx. 

Here is an example of TOM GILL PREDICTS from its web site in 2000.

Thanks to Beth Marsh-Prime, here is one of the Del Valle High School era original mimeographed TOM GILL PREDICTS.