This week we provide a compendium of puns. This collection has been going around the Internet for years... author unknown.
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• I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
• How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• The Energizer bunny was arrested and charged with battery.
• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
• What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
• All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The cops have nothing to go on.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro - what a rip off!
• Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
• Venison for dinner? Oh deer!
• Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.
• I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure......
_________________________________________________________________________________
• I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
• How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• The Energizer bunny was arrested and charged with battery.
• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
• What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
• All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The cops have nothing to go on.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro - what a rip off!
• Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
• Venison for dinner? Oh deer!
• Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.
• I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure......
