GANDHI AND THE LAW PROFESSOR

(Origin unknown: thanks to Rudy Sookbirsingh for passing it on)

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When Mohandas Gandhi was studying law at the University College London, a white professor, whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely and always displayed prejudice and animosity towards him. Also, because Gandhi never lowered his head when addressing him, as he expected…. there were always “arguments” and confrontations.

One day, Mr Peters was having lunch at the dining room of the University, and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor. The professor said, “Mr Gandhi, you do not understand. A pig and a bird do not sit together to eat.”

Gandhi looked at him as a parent would a rude child and calmly replied, “You do not worry professor. I’ll fly away,” and he went and sat at another table.

Mr Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge on the next test paper, but Gandhi responded brilliantly to all questions. Mr Peters, unhappy and frustrated, asked him the following question. “Mr Gandhi, if you were walking down the street and found a package, and within was a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money, which one would you take?”

Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, “The one with the money, of course.”

Mr Peters, smiling sarcastically said, “I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom, don’t you think?”

Gandhi shrugged indifferently and responded, “Each one takes what he doesn’t have.”

Mr Peters, by this time, was fit to be tied. So great was his anger that he wrote on Gandhi’s exam sheet the word “idiot” and gave it to Gandhi. Gandhi took the exam sheet and sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.

A few minutes later, Gandhi got up, went to the professor and said to him in a dignified but sarcastically polite tone, “Mr. Peters, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade.”

BLA BLA BLA

I never encountered the frequent use of the phrase "blah blah blah," or "bla bla bla" until a dozen years ago when I moved to El Paso, Texas.  I'd certainly heard or seen the phrase from time to time, but it was not a common expression: and when I did see it written, it was usually "blah blah blah." 

I was struck at how frequently I heard people use this phrase in El Paso upon my arrival in 2004- much more often than when I lived in California or elsewhere in Texas.  I thought perhaps this was a local Borderland colloquialism.  But with the rise of social media in the current decade, it quickly became clear that "bla(h) bla(h) bla(h)" was not a modismo chuco: people all over were using it, and often dropping the silent "h" at the end of "blah," making it "bla bla bla."  Was this a sign of the ever-changing English language?

I now know the answer: apparently not, because I stumbled upon this*: it's a close-up of part of a cartoon postcard from ~1944,  when World War II was raging and Americans experienced rationing of meat, sugar, coffee, and other goods.  Look at the name of the newspaper in the cartoon!  I guess "BLA BLA BLA" goes way way back.

*Image extracted from Figure 20 in Lehmann, D.K., 2015, "World War II Ration Stamps," American Philatelist 129: 950-956.

Advice From 60-Year-Olds To Persons Half Their Age

Recently, a question was posed to those over the age of 60. The question was this: “What advice would you give to those who are half your age?” While the question seems simple, the answers may surprise you.

1. People always say, “Make sure you get a job doing what you love!” But that isn’t the best advice. Almost nobody has a job they love every day. The right job is the job you love some days, can tolerate most days, and still pays the bills. 

2. Years go by in the blink of an eye. Don't marry young. Live your life. Go places. Do things. If you have the means or not. Pack a bag and go wherever you can afford to go. While you have no dependents, don't buy stuff. Any stuff. See the world. Look through travel magazines and pick a spot. GO!

3. Don’t take life so seriously. Even if things seem dark and hopeless, try to laugh at how ridiculous life is.

4. A true friend will come running if you call them at 2am; everyone else is just an acquaintance.

5. The most important person in your life is the person who agreed to share their life with you. Treat them as such.

6. Children grow up way too fast. Make the most of the time you have with them.

7. Nobody ever dies wishing they had worked more… Work hard, but don’t prioritize work over family, friends, or even yourself.

8. You might live a long life, or you might live a short one - who knows. But either way, trust me when I say that you’re going to wish you took better care of yourself in your youth.

9. If you're getting overwhelmed by life, just return to the immediate present moment and savor all that is beautiful and comforting.Take a deep breath, relax.

10. Eat and exercise like you're a diabetic heart patient with a stroke - so you never actually become one.

11. We have one time on this earth. Don't wake up and realize that you are 60 years old and haven't done the things you dreamed about.

12. Maybe this one isn’t as profound as the others, but I think it’s important… Floss regularly, dental problems are awful.

13. Don't take anyone else's advice as gospel. You can ask for advice from someone you respect, then take your situation into consideration and make your own decision. Essentially, take your own advice is my advice…

14. Stuff is just stuff. Don’t hold onto material objects, hold onto time and experiences instead.

15. The joints you damage today will get their revenge later. Even if you think they've recovered completely. TRUST ME!

16. I would say to appreciate the small things and to be present in the moment. What do I mean? Well, it seems today like younger people are all about immediate gratification. Instead, why not appreciate every small moment? We don't get to stay on this crazy/wonderful planet forever and the greatest pleasure can be found in the most mundane of activities. Instead of sending a text, pick up the phone and call someone. Call your mother, have a conversation about nothing in particular. Those are the moments to hold onto.

17. Pay your bills and stay the hell out of debt. If I could have paid myself all the money I've paid out in interest over the years, I'd be retired already.

18. Jealousy destroys relationships. Trust your significant other, because who else are you supposed to trust?

19. If you have a dream of being or doing something that seems impossible, try for it anyway. It will only become more impossible as you age and become responsible for other people.

20. When you meet someone for the first time, stop and realize that you really know nothing about them. You see race, gender, age, clothes. Forget it all. You know nothing. Those biased assumptions that pop into your head because of the way your brain likes categories, are limiting your life, and other people's lives.

THINGs PEOPLE HAVE ACTUALLY TOLD THEIR DOCTORS...

1. A young couple came in, both upset and confused about the fact that the woman had become pregnant. They stressed the fact that they were on birth control, specifically they were on the pill. However, before I could say anything, the boyfriend quietly took me aside and explained to me that he had been taking the pill instead of his girlfriend because “she had a weak stomach and couldn’t take pills…”

2. These weren’t patients of mine, but I once overheard the following conversation in the waiting room:

Man 1: My daughter is allergic to wheat.

Man 2: So she can't eat bread or anything?

Man 1: We only give her white bread.

Man 2: Oh yeah, I guess bread only has wheat if it says it on there. Like whole wheat or whatever.

Man 1: Yeah, I guess.

Man 2: So can she eat pizza?

Man 1: Only cheese pizza.

3. A lady had to have her foot amputated and was given waiver forms to sign pre-op. The patient is asked if she needs time to think about her decision. She’s surprisingly calm and nonchalant, she doesn’t seem to care much about what they do to her limb. The doctor gets suspicious and probes a bit further, asking why she’s not more concerned. The patient says she understands that they have to operate, but that “it’s okay because the foot will grow back.” The doctor had to explain to the woman that she is not, in fact, a salamander and entire feet are not toenails, and that limbs do not grow back in humans.

4. I’m not actually a MEDICAL doctor. I have a PhD in Fine Arts, but apparently lots of people think that just because I have a DOCTORATE of Philosophy, it means they can ask me about their disgusting medical issues. I can NOT prescribe you medication, and I will NOT look at your rash.

5. I once had a meeting with a patient about their diet and nutritional intake. I ended up having to explain to this person that, no, Coca-cola is NOT in fact a vegetable. Just because it says "contains vegetable extracts" on the side of a can of Coke does not mean it can count as one of your “five veggies a day…”

6.  Paramedic here, I have had to inform numerous people that pouring Gatorade into the mouth of unresponsive diabetics is not a good idea…

7.  I’m a registered nurse, not a doctor, but here’s the story: Patient was a newly diagnosed diabetic who needed to be taught how to inject insulin. So the diabetes educator did the good old routine of taking an orange, drawing up insulin, then injecting it into the orange. He then made the patient repeat this practice routine a few times. The patient goes home, etc. He comes back in a week and his blood sugar is out of control. They ask him if he's been taking his insulin and he goes "of course." So they decide to ask him to demonstrate how he injects insulin. The patient goes "sure, I just need an orange." At this point I started face palming hard because I know where this one is heading. But of course they got him a orange and a vial of insulin with a syringe. So the guy draws up the insulin correctly, takes the syringe, injects it into the orange, and then says "and then I eat the orange." At this point I had to walk out because I nearly lost it right there…

8. Not a doctor, but a good friend of mine is. He once told that he had to explain to one of his patients that regular bandaids do not cure anything at all, but just cover up a wound. The patient in question had tried to cure her recently diagnosed Type-II diabetes by sticking bandaids all over herself...

9.  Another lady I was seeing for clinicals was diabetic, and she would come in every week with stupid high blood sugar levels (250-560ish), not knowing why they were so high. She kept a record of everything she ate, and all her food intake seemed fine. One day, her husband came with her, which was weird, and he ninja slipped me a note while shaking my hand. It read, "Ask her about the Quiktrip slushies. She doesn't believe me that they have sugar in them." So I asked her if she was having any soda, lemonade, tea, ice cream, shakes or slushies, and she told me, like a light bulb had gone off in her head, "Well, I have been drinking about 3 of the 48oz Quiktrip slushies every day for awhile now. They're just so good! And they arn't food or drink, they're slushies! So they don't have any sugar in them, and I don't need to record them!" It was so hard to convince her that those are so full of sugar it isn't even funny.

10. I'm not an M.D. but I am an optometrist. Recently, I had to tell a patient that no, you should not attempt to continue wearing a contact lens that was dropped in the toilet! Maybe that’s where your eye infection came from?

11.  A woman came in for a well baby check with her 6 month old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby's bottle. The doctor started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn't be giving her baby chocolate milk, at which point she interrupts him and says "oh that isn't chocolate milk. Its coffee! He just loves it!"