(From the Internet. Original origin unknown.)
�How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?�Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?�Why does a round pizza come in a square box?�What disease did cured ham actually have?�How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?�Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?�Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?�Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?�Why do doctors leave the room while you change?They're going to see you naked anyway.�Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?�Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?�If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?��Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!�If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?�Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?Why did you just try singing the two songs above?�Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?�Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?�Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?�Why does someone believe you when you say there are four�billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?�Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?�Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?�Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?�Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?�Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?�Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner,then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?�Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?�How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?�Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?�In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?�How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
