TIME IN THE TIME OF COVID

 “COVID years are like dog years. One year is like seven.”

- Peter Marks, director of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration’s Center for Biologics Evaluation and Research, speaking at the Infectious Diseases Society of America annual conference, Washington, DC, October 2022.

THE STATISTICIAN

"The fact that the birthrate has been increasing ever since ....  reminds me of the definition of a statistician: He is a person who has his head in the oven and his feet in the deep freeze and says “on the average I feel fine.”

From: Proceedings of the Annual Convention of the Middle States Association of Colleges and Secondary Schools, Volumes 72-77, 1958, Page 27.

What did Nostradamus predict about the death of Queen Elizabeth II and the reign of Charles III?

 

Mario Reading, in his 2009 book "The Complete Prophecies of Nostradamus," predicted that Queen Elizabeth would die circa 2022, and following a crisis provoked by the Church of England over his civil marriage to Camilla Parker Bowles, would eventually abdicate the throne, and that Harry would actually become King. It's already wrong, because the prediction was that Canada, Australia, New Zealand and perhaps the other Commonwealth Realms would have become republics by now.

Fascinating and curious, but can anyone definitively understand whatever Nostradamus was "seeing"? I think not. But, if it happens, you heard it here first.

GOTTLIEB'S SECOND LAW

"They don't give out the championship trophy at halftime."  - Sports talk radio host Doug Gottlieb

MURPHY'S LAWS FOR ENGINEERS

• Any wire or tube cut to length will be too short.
• After any machine or instrument has been fully assembled, extra components will be found on the bench.
• Any error that can creep in, will. It will be in the direction that will do the most damage.
• All constants are variable.
• In any given miscalculation, the fault will never be placed if more that one person is involved.
• Dimensions will always be expressed in the least usable terms.
• The probability of a dimension being omitted is directly proportional to its importance
• It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are too ingenious.

From http://rfcafe.com/miscellany/humor/murphys-law-for-engineers.htm

DRUCKER'S VERSION OF PEARSON'S LAW

Drucker's Version of Pearson's Law: attributed to Peter Drucker -

"That which is measured is managed."

SCHRODINGER'S PEDESTRIAN

This week we present to you a Tweet by "@MoldyBasil".

https://twitter.com/MoldyBasil/status/1504797687614525443?s=20&t=RhdUAmDNz6yKLli3n-nn6A

 

BRAKEY'S LAW

"Never doubt that a few committed individuals can change the world. But if you turn them into a committee, we’re screwed.”- John Brakey

SCHNOOBER'S LAW

 "It sucks to be the albino chameleon."

@Schnoober on Twitter, December 20, 2010: https://twitter.com/schnoober/status/16885481086128128

RIGGLE'S FIFTH LAW

"Oatmeal may or may not stick to your ribs, but it sure sticks to your dishes."

-Alex Riggle,10/22/17

KIM'S LAW OF HYBRID PHYSICAL/VIRTUAL MEETINGS

 

• The quality of a physical/virtual meeting is directly proportional to the status of the virtual attendees.
• If there is a high-status person or persons attending a mixed in-person and Zoom meeting on Zoom, then the meeting will be excellent. Or at least excellent for the Zoom people.

Source: https://www.insidehighered.com/blogs/learning-innovation/proposing-kim%E2%80%99s-law-physicalvirtual-meetings

SCHREIER'S LAW

"In a sea of superlatives, all boats sink."

- Benjamin Schreier, in https://www.chronicle.com/article/no-more-letters-of-recommendation

McGLYNN'S LAW

"If you let important paperwork sit around long enough, it stops being important."

- Terry McGlynn, 

https://twitter.com/hormiga/status/898228163288875008

STRONG'S LAW

"A good legend will kill probability any day of the week."

-W.F. Strong, Professor, University of Texas- Rio Grande Valley

https://www.texasstandard.org/stories/jim-bowie-the-original-influencer/

GOTTFRIED'S LAW

"If some terrible thing happens, comedy is not going to kill tragedy, but it will get it to lose its grip for a while."- comedian Gilbert Gottfried (1955- 2022) 

 (quoted in THE HISTORY OF COMEDY, CNN documentary, July 2017)

NOAKES'S LAW OF CINEMATIC VENTILATION

"Ventilation ducts in movies always go to exactly where you need to be and never have any dampers."

- Professor Cath Noakes, https://twitter.com/CathNoakes/status/1474728866740686849

GOTTLIEB'S SECOND LAW AFTER ALBRITTON

"They don't give out (the championship) trophies at halftime."

-Popularized by sports talk radio host Doug Gottlieb in 2022, in regards to the University of Kansas's record-breaking comeback in the second half of the NCAA Division I men's basketball championship; appeared in 2011 as a Tweet by Karen Albritton regarding the University of North Carolina Tar Heels. Ironically, it was North Carolina that Kansas defeated in the 2022 championship. Albritton's tweet appeared to be lamenting North Carolina's loss to Duke University in the 2011 Atlantic Coast Conference basketball tournament. North Carolina beat Duke in the 2022 "Final Four" to rise to the championship game against Kansas.  

https://twitter.com/kalbritton/status/35532549228990464

THE WORM'S LAMENT

 

"That old saw about the early bird just proves that the worm should have stayed in bed."
- First known to have been written by Robert Heinlein in his story Time Enough For Love. 

STAR'S LAW OF PANDEMICS

 

MAHFOUZ'S LAW

"Home is not where you were born - home is where your attempts to escape cease."-

N. Mahfouz​ (via Christine Waters)

HANLON'S RAZOR

HANLON'S RAZOR: "Never attribute to malice what is adequately explained by stupidity."

-Submitted by Robert Hanlon to Arthur Bloch's book, Murphy's Law Book Two: More Reasons Why Things Go Wrong! (1980).  Equivalent to a quote in Robert Heinlein's story Logic of Empire (1941) where a character states, "You have attributed conditions to villainy that simply result from stupidity."

ALLEN'S OBSERVATION

"It’s amazing how long two people can misunderstand one another."- Musician and visual artist Terry Allen

https://www.newyorker.com/news/q-and-a/terry-allen-on-the-texas-roots-of-his-music-and-art

BENJAMIN'S OBSERVATION

"The angel of history looks backward over the wreckage." - Overheard, likely based on German philosopher Walter Benjamin's observation of Paul Klee's painting Angelus Novus. 

MADDEN'S LAW

 "The road to Easy Street goes through the sewer."

-John Madden, American football coach and sports commentator, 1936-2021

GOODHART'S LAW

Goodhart's Law: "When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure".

https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2016/06/09/goodharts-law-and-why-measurement-is-hard/

THE FIRST LAW OF GEOGRAPHY

"Everything is related to everything else, but near things are more related than distant things."

-Coined by Waldo Tobler as The First Law of Geography in article he authored in Economic Geography in 1970.