DODGE CITY (true story)

Memory coming back to me: 

Back when I first moved to Texas and was working for the U.S. Department of Agriculture, our group had to take a road trip to Kansas City for a meeting.  Amongst us was a visiting researcher, who was from China.  

We decided to take the scenic route (Hey! Don't laugh! For Department of Agriculture folks and geography buffs, the Great Plains are scenic!), make it a two-day trip, and stop for the night in Dodge City.  The Chinese guy was really thrilled about that: we figured he must be a fan of old Westerns.  

When we left town the next morning to hit the road to K.C., he pleaded with us to at least stop and have a view of the factory on the way out.  The factory?  What?  Of course, the automotive plant!  He had been thrilled because he had thought that we must be where Dodge cars and trucks were made.  He was unhappy when we told him he was misinformed.

THOUGHTS OF THE DAY

♦  I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?

 

♦ Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a bottle of water.

 

♦ I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

 

♦ I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

 

♦ A recent study has found that woman who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.

 

♦ Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

 

♦ America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.

 

♦ You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.

 

♦ Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

 

♦ My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.

 

♦ I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

 

♦ Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye.

 

♦ If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

 

♦ My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.

 

♦ My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.

 

♦ The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.

 

♦The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in your pajamas before you start looking like a mental patient.

 

♦ Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!

 

♦ The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.