The Importance of Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month..  My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell he is. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing..   I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.  Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there. Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.  The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looked good didn't she.' If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.   I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,...just getting over the hill. We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.   AND Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

Bannered Thoughts

it's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.

A fool & his money can throw a great party

LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES -  USE BIRTH CONTROL

Money isn't everything, But it sure keeps the kids in touch.

If at first you don't succeed, Skydiving is not for you

We are born naked, wet, hungry. Then things get worse.

Red meat is not bad for you;    Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to produce reproductive organs.

Alabama state motto:    At least we're not Mississippi

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.

The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population

"I think Members of Congress should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors."

The reason politicians try so hard to get

re-elected is that they would hate to try to

make a living under the laws they've passed.