Proverbs Rewritten By Kids- Part II

An elementary school teacher gave his students the first half of a well known saying, and asked them to finish it.  Here are some of the alleged results.                                  

[This has been going around for so long it's practically a folk tale in itself by now.]

(Part I was posted last week) 

A bird in the hand…. Will poop on you.

Better late than… pregnant.

Where there’s smoke, there’s… pollution.

A penny saved is… not much.

When the blind lead the blind,… get out of the way.

Two’s company, three’s… Musketeers.

Don’t put off tomorrow what… you put on to go to bed.

There are none so blind as… Stevie Wonder.

Children should be seen and not… grounded.

You get out of something only what you… see in the picture on the box.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and… you have to blow your nose.

Happy the bride who… gets all the presents.

If you first you don’t succeed,… reboot the computer.

Proverbs Rewritten By Kids

An elementary school teacher gave his students the first half of a well known saying, and asked them to finish it.  Here are some of the alleged results. [This has been going around for so long it's practically a folk tale in itself by now.]
(Part II next week) 

Don't change horses... until they stop running.
Strike while the... bug is close.
It's always darkest before... Daylight Savings Time.
Never underestimate the power of... termites.
You can lead a horse to water, but... why?
Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.
No news is... impossible.
A miss is as good as a... Mister.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll... stink.
Love all, trust... me.
The pen is mightier than the... pig.
An idle mind is... the best way to relax.

MORE PUNS

He thought it was fog, but he mist.

She said she recognized me from the Vegetarian Society, but I'd never seen herbivore.

I wrote the script for a performance about puns.  It was a play on words.

Broken pencils are pointless.

What does a clock do when it's hungry?  Goes back four seconds.

When I was a kid we went on a school field trip to the soft drink factory.  It was followed by a pop quiz.

?Cuantos estrellas hay en el cielo? !Cincuenta!

A man from Panama said he could make himself disappear.  He counted, "uno, dos..." and he was gone without a tres.

I was up all night trying to figure out where the sun had gone to.  Then it dawned on me.

I didn't like my beard at first.  But then it grew on me.

Got a bladder infection?  Urine trouble!