A TOP SECRET

After fifteen years, some White House archives are finally being declassified.  And now we know what happened.

After numerous rounds of saying 'We don't even know if Bin Laden is still alive', Osama himself decided to send George W. Bush a letter in his own hand writing to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it contained a single line of coded message:

370HSSV 0773H

Bush was baffled, so showed it to Condoleezza Rice. Condi and her aides didn't have a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.

No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, and then to MI6.  Eventually they asked the Mossad for help.

Within a minute the Mossad called the secure phone line at the White House with this reply:'Tell the President he's holding the message upside down.'

CLASSIFIED ADS FROM SEATTLE

These classified ads were allegedly found in a Seattle newspaper.

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!  

 

 

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.  

 

 

FREE PUPPIES: Mother, AKC German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog- able to leap tall fences in a single bound.  

 

 

FOUND. DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be a big reward.  

 

NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.  

 

 

GEORGIA PEACHES California grown - 89 cents/lb.  

 

 

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.  

 

 

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.  

A CUP OF TEA

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge. 

I was maybe one and a half years old.  

Someone had given me a little tea set as a gift
and it was one of my favorite toys.  Daddy was in the living room
engrossed in the evening news and my brother was playing nearby in
the living room when I brought Daddy a little cup of "tea," which was
really just water.

After several cups and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my
Mom came home.  My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me
bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!!'  My
Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of
tea for Daddy and she watched him drink it up.  Then she said, "Did it
ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get
water is the toilet?"