How To Improve Your Language At The Workplace

Original author unknown...

HOW TO SPOT SOMEONE RAISED BY A GEOLOGIST

How to Spot Someone RAISED by a Geologist

*Wears socks with sandals despite knowing that it is highly un-cool (and still feels cool doing it).

*Could spot a sinkhole at age 5 and explain what it was to all her friends.

*Writes down "spelunking" as possible romantic getaway.

*Helped gather fossils in roadside highway cuts as a fun family outing.

*Someone who went ballistic when father burnt "Chunk of Coal Present" in the fireplace.

*Someone who, despite not being a geologist, has core samples lurking around the house.

*A person who stares at road cuts and wonders why the rocks look all ribbon-y...remembers to ask parent for answer.

*Wrecks trying to look at ribbon-y rocks despite the fact that a closer look wouldn't shed light on the answer.

*Most of childhood artwork is done on the backs of discarded seismic data print-offs.

*Despite not being able to spell most words..can remember how to spell "seismic".

*Edited shot gathers as a form of entertainment...before entering middle-school.

*Understood more scientific nerd humor than "Knock Knock Jokes", growing up.  "A group of Hydrogen are floating around when one says, "I just lost my electron."  Another hydrogen asks, "Are you sure?"      The Hydrogen replies, "I'm positive."  Har Har Har

*Can look at all the "How to Spot a Geologist" lines and picture a person or event that it pertains to.

*Is named after geological rock formation...

A NURSE'S TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

A Nurse's Twelve Days of Christmas 
(This has been going around the Internet: original source unknown.)

Twelve Doctors Screaming
Eleven IVs Running
Ten Pan Meds Given
Nine Call Lights Blinking
Eight Phones are Ringing
Seven Psychs a-Leaping
Six Dressing Changes 
Five Nurses Stressing
Four Foleys Draining
Three B.P.s Dropping
Two Traumas Coming
And An Hour Left On My Shift!

Top 10 Things Native Americans Should Say To White People

Seen floating around the Internet last month:

TOP TEN THINGS NATIVE AMERICANS SHOULD SAY TO WHITE PEOPLE

10. How much white are you?
9. I'm part white myself, you know.
8. I learned all about your people's ways in the Boy Scouts!
7. My great-great grandmother was a full-blooded White American princess!
6. Funny, you don't look white!
5. I'm not racist, my best friend is white!
4. Do you live in a log cabin?
3. What's the meaning behind the "square dance" ?
2. Can I touch your facial hair?
1. Can I take your picture?