Real Persons' Names

Real Names Of Persons 

(Archived from the 1985 Usenet at this link) 

The following is a brief compilation of the real, honest-to-god names of
actual persons.

   Mr. Odor Funkhouse -- perfume shop owner in San Francisco.

   Sadie Longtimesleeping -- a Native American woman whose name first appeared
 in print in her obituary.

   The Rev. Walter J. Boring -- preacher in Santa Cruz County.

   Rotten Pumpkin -- later changed his name legally to Robert Pumpion.

   Mr. Cashmere Tango Obedience -- another Santa Cruz resident.  For many
 years his name was listed in the telephone book, but he had to take
 it out this year because he was getting too many crank calls.

   Frances Flex -- competitive female body builder, also of Santa Cruz.

   Wylie Crook -- Clerk of Retton, Washington, in 1944.  His successful
 campaign slogan was "Put a Wylie Crook in Office."

   Mr. Grimm -- professor at the San Francisco College of Mortuary Science.

   Patience Scales -- a piano teacher from San Francisco.

   Carol Buttons of Winnipeg, Canada married a Mr. Bob Bows...

   Zippitydoo Dawe -- lives in Texas.  His father explained to the press,
 "If he doesn't like his name when he grows up, well then, he can
 just go change it."

And a few people from the medical profession:

   Dr. Pullum -- dentist in Taft, CA.

   Dr. Au (pronounced "ow!") -- physician in Newark, CA.

   Iodine Borzikacid -- pharmacist.

   Ida Tumor -- nurse in the cancer ward of a V.A. hospital.

   Dr. Seymour Polk -- gynecologist in Los Gatos, CA.

   Dr. Sugar -- dentist in Michigan.

   Dr. Smelzy -- Michigan podiatrist.

   Dr. Bonebreak -- chiropractor in Santa Cruz, CA.

   Fanny Hertz -- actual name of a hemmorhoid patient.

   Dr. Melvin Peabrain  -- physician in Modesto, CA.


Source: "Tom Gill Predicts," Volume VII, Number xx. 

(To which, Lewis Barnett, a Usenet user back in 1985 commented, "And then, there are Drs. Waters and Leake, partners in a Urology
practice somewhere in, I believe, South or North Carolina.  If I'm not mistaken, Dr. Waters is the brother of Charlie Waters, former
Dallas Cowboy."