YOU KNOW YOU USE THE INTERNET TOO MUCH WHEN...

This week we revisit a TGP from over thirteen years ago.  Seems like back then, we were still addicted to the 'Net, but read this and think about how some things have changed.



TOM GILL PREDICTS-  Volume Fifteen, Number Ninety
March 18, 2002
Now bringing you the best Internet humor almost every week!
A presentation of TGP INTERNATIONAL
Editor: Tom Gill
**************************************************************************
"Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."

YOU KNOW YOU USE THE INTERNET TOO MUCH WHEN:

>       >> 1. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check
>       >> your e-mail on the way back to bed.
>       >>
>       >> 2. You name your children eudora, aol and dotcom.
>       >>
>       >> 3. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, as
>       >> if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
>       >>
>       >> 4. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your
>       >> lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.
>       >>
>       >> 5. You laugh at people with modems.
>       >>
>       >> 6. You start using smileys in your snail mail.
>       >>
>       >> 7. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using
>       >> a word processor.com
>       >>
>       >> 8. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
>       >>
>       >> 9. You can't call your mother...she doesn't even have a modem.
>       >>
>       >> 10. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check
>       >> it again.
>       >>
>       >> 11. You don't know what gender three of your closest friends are
>       >> because they have neutral screen names and you never bothered to
>       >> ask.
>       >>
>       >> 12. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you
>       >> landscape.
>       >>
>       >> 13. You tell the cab driver you live at
>       >> http://1000.edison.st/house/brick.html
>       >>
>       >> 14. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)