Monday, September 29, 2014

How To Wash A Cat In Nine Easy Steps

(Editor's note: This procedure works best on a dry, sunny day.)

1. Put all of the lids of the toilet up, and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the toilet bowl.
 

2. Pick up the cat and pet him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
 

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid.  You will probably need to stand on the lid.
 

4. At this point, the cat will self-agitate and produce ample suds.  Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, rest assured that the cat is actually enjoying this.
 

5. Flush the toilet three or four times.   This provides a "Power Wash" followed by a "Rinse" cycle.
 

6. Have someone open the front door of your home.  Please be sure that there are no persons between the bathroom door and the front door.
 

7. Jump off the toilet, and quickly lift the lid, whilst standing back as far as you can.
 

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will proceed to dry himself off.
 

9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

No comments:

Post a Comment