(Original source unknown, compiled from messages forwarded to me by various people)
1. The doctor had to explain to a patient that Band-Aids do not actually cure anything, they just cover up (and occasionally medicate) a wound. The woman had practically covered herself in Band-Aids, hoping to treat her newly diagnosed diabetes.
2. A diabetic woman kept coming in for checkups with extremely high blood sugar levels. As she had been counselled to avoid consuming sugar, it was hard to determine why the levels were so high. Finally, in the course of another conversation, she explained that she had been having several Slurpees every day. "They're really not a drink, because they're kind of frozen, and they're not food, so they don't count," she exclaimed.
3. A man came in for examination of a suspicious growth on his chest. The physician had to tell him, "Sir, that's your nipple. Everybody has them, even men."
4. The patient complained that her inhaler didn't seem to be working. Eventually it turned out that she had been spraying it onto her chest.
5. A patient was prescribed a drug that was delivered in the form of patches. Before his next appointment, he called in to say he was "running out of space." His body was nearly covered in patches: he had not been advised to remove the old patches before sticking on the new ones.
6. Patient complained to doctor that everyone- including him- thought he was dirty. Turned out that he was offended that nurses, attendants, etc. were observed washing their hands/applying sanitizer in his presence.
7. Patient was prescribed an inhaler because he had an allergy to cats. Came back later with no relief. Turns out he was spraying the inhaler on his cat.
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