Sunday, June 25, 2017

LEXOPHILIA

This collection of puns has been floating around the Internet for at least twenty years: the first reference to most of these on the Web goes back to 1997.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
 
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
 

The batteries were given out free of charge.
 

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
 

A will is a dead giveaway.
 

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
 

A boiled egg is hard to beat.
 

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
 

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
 

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
 

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
 

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
 

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
 

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
 

When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
 

Acupuncture is a jab well done (that's the point of it).
 
Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
 
 

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