Saturday, August 12, 2017

PUN-ishment

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. 
The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this, some kind of a joke...?

Rudolf: "Look, Tasha, is raining across the square on the Kremlin."
Natasha: "No, Rudolf, silly Comrade. That's not rain, it's snow!"
Rudolf: "Is Rain, Tasha."
Natasha: "Is Snow, Comrade!!!"
Rudolf: "Listen; Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."

There was a pelican who could flip shot glasses full of whiskey with
his beak for a free drink. One night he walks into a new bar. He asks
the bartender for a shot of whiskey and the bartender says "Oh Yeah?
How you gonna pay for it?" The pelican said, "Just put it on my bill."

A mechanic once owned a dog named Mace. Mace had a bad habit of eating
all the grass in the mechanic's lawn, so the mechanic had to keep Mace
inside. The grass eventually became overgrown. One day the mechanic was
working on a car in his backyard and dropped his wrench losing it in
the tall grass. He couldn't find it for the life of him so he decided
to call it a day. That night, Mace escaped from the house and ate all
the grass in the backyard. The next morning, the mechanic went outside
and saw his wrench glinting in the sunlight. Realizing what had
happened, he looked up to the heavens and proclaimed... "A grazing
Mace, how sweet the hound that saved a wrench for me!"


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