I heard the news the other day that, of all things, Kentucky Fried Chicken in the U.K.had... ran out of chicken. Oops. (True, once I went to my local Taco Bell, where they informed me they had run out of tortillas. I wound up buying a cupful of beans and cheese).
This morning, I saw a headline that they had returned to their original supplier, and the British KFCs were gradually re-chicken-izing:
Yes, by rehiring Bidvest Logistics, KFC went back to its "original recipe" for chicken deliveries. Chicken deliveries. Custom chicken deliveries. I want my KFC! Ah! Dire Straits rose again, at least in my mind, and thus imagine the timeless rock classic
re-imagined with my lyrics:
(I want my KFC...
I want my KFC...
I want my KFC...)
Now lookee here Colonel, that’s not how you do it
you’re out of chicken at the KFC
That ain't workin', that's not how to do it
Buckets of' nothin' cause the chicks ran free
Now that ain't workin' that's not how to do it
Lemme tell ya the Colonel’s dumb
Maybe drink some gravy 'cause it's finger-lickin',
Maybe drain the fryer just to find a crumb
You better call up new suppliers, custom chicken deliveries
You gotta move those fries and that gravy, you gotta move those
barbecue beans...
Coulda got McNuggets with the honey and the ketchup
Yeah buddy it’s boom like that
Shoulda gone to Nando’s for some peri-peri
Shoulda gone to Dixy for tortilla wraps
You better call up new suppliers, custom chicken deliveries
You gotta move those fries and that gravy, you gotta move those
barbecue beans
I shoulda learned how to make my own dinner
I shoulda learned to bring my lunch
Look at that mama she got it cookin’ in the kitchen
Man, we could eat a bunch
And he's up there, what's that?
Fryin’ noises?
Fish and chips and pudding with a cup of tea
That ain't workin' that's not how you do it
No drumsticks or nothin', guess the chicks ran free…
(I want my, I want my KFC…)
(I want my, I want my KFC…)
(I want my, I want my KFC…)
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