What's The Weirdest Thing You Remember Misunderstanding As A Kid?

Inspired by a tweet- and some hilarious responses- what's the weirdest thing YOU remember misunderstanding as a kid? For me, some come to mind:

(1) I thought "To Be Announced" was the name of an actual television show.

(2) for a year or two until I wised up, I thought the road sign "Speed Checked by Radar" meant that the character from M*A*S*H might be hiding somewhere with a speed gun.

(3) I got convinced by my parents that Colonel Sanders was some kind of amazing superhero flying between KFC shops at the speed of light, personally cooking every piece of chicken. "Now, Tommy, have patience, we have to wait for the Colonel to get here."

(4) I thought the word "damn" was actually "dam" and you shouldn't say it because it might cause the dam to break and cause a flood.

(5) When I first started to learn geography, I took place names literally: there were fins all over everything (fins to the left? fins to the right?) in Finland, the country Turkey was made out of or full of turkeys, time went by faster in Rapid City, everyone in Jamestown was named James, etc. And I somehow made the discovery that Cincinnati was in Kentucky. I remember having an argument with my Uncle Henry, who lived there, that he actually lived in Kentucky, not Ohio, and that it was also spelled with an S: Sinsinnati.

(6) I thought that "allspice" was actually a mix of all spices. One day I decided to be nice to my mama and make some, and my dad caught me dumping out all of the stuff from the jars in her spice rack and mixing it together in a big bowl.

To be entertained (hilariously!) further, bring up this thread on Twitter:

What’s the weirdest thing you remember misunderstanding as a kid? I thought adultery meant “pretending to be an adult.”