Source uncertain.
1. A young couple came in, both upset and confused about the fact that the woman had become pregnant. They stressed the fact that they were on birth control, specifically they were on the pill. However, before I could say anything, the boyfriend quietly took me aside and explained to me that he had been taking the pill instead of his girlfriend because “she had a weak stomach and couldn’t take pills…”
2. A patient came in for a sexually transmitted disease related appointment. She was very upset and continued to stress the fact that she only ever had one partner. “And even if my boyfriend is sleeping with other people, it shouldn’t matter,” said the patient. “My boyfriend uses a condom every time and makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use.” The nurse asked the patient what she meant when she said her boyfriend “washes it every time”. The patient explained that her boyfriend washed the same old condom with hot water and soap before he used it. Every time. I had to kindly explain to a grown woman that condoms are a one-time use product. She had no clue.
3. More than one patient has come into my vet’s office complaining about their dog’s chest. One man thought his dog’s nipples were giant blood-sucking ticks. He actually tried prying at them and pulling on them, complaining that “they are impossible to remove…” A woman also came in complaining that her dog had “huge tumors” growing on its chest. Nope. Again, just nipples.
4. I’m a registered nurse, not a doctor, but here’s the story:
Patient was a newly diagnosed diabetic who needed to be taught how to inject insulin. So the diabetes educator did the good old routine of taking an orange, drawing up insulin, then injecting it into the orange. He then made the patient repeat this practice routine a few times. The patient goes home, etc. He comes back in a week and his blood sugar is out of control. They ask him if he's been taking his insulin and he goes "of course." So they decide to ask him to demonstrate how he injects insulin. The patient goes "sure, I just need an orange." They got him a orange and a vial of insulin with a syringe. So the guy draws up the insulin correctly, takes the syringe, injects it into the orange, and then says "and then I eat the orange." At this point I had to walk out because I nearly lost it right there…
5. Not a doctor, but a good friend of mine is. He once told that he had to explain to one of his patients that regular BandAids do not cure anything at all, but just cover up a wound. The patient in question had tried to cure her recently diagnosed Type-II diabetes by sticking bandaids all over herself...
6. Another lady I was seeing in clinic was diabetic, and she would come in every week with super high blood sugar levels (250-560ish), not knowing why they were so high. She kept a record of everything she ate, and all her food intake seemed fine. One day, her husband came with her, which was weird, and he slipped me a note while shaking my hand. It read, "Ask her about the Quiktrip slushies. She doesn't believe me that they have sugar in them." So I asked her if she was having any soda, lemonade, tea, ice cream, shakes or slushies, and she told me, like a light bulb had gone off in her head, "Well, I have been drinking about 3 of the 48oz Quiktrip slushies every day for awhile now. They're just so good! And they aren't food or drink, they're slushies! So they don't count, and I don't need to record them!" It was so hard to convince her that those are so full of sugar it isn't even funny.
7. I'm not an M.D. but I am an eye doctor. Recently, I had to tell a patient that no, you should not attempt to continue wearing a contact lens that was dropped in the toilet! Maybe that’s where your eye infection came from?
8. A woman came in for a well baby check with her 6 month old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby's bottle. The doctor started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn't be giving her baby chocolate milk, at which point she interrupts him and says "oh that isn't chocolate milk. Its coffee! He just loves it!"
1. A young couple came in, both upset and confused about the fact that the woman had become pregnant. They stressed the fact that they were on birth control, specifically they were on the pill. However, before I could say anything, the boyfriend quietly took me aside and explained to me that he had been taking the pill instead of his girlfriend because “she had a weak stomach and couldn’t take pills…”
2. A patient came in for a sexually transmitted disease related appointment. She was very upset and continued to stress the fact that she only ever had one partner. “And even if my boyfriend is sleeping with other people, it shouldn’t matter,” said the patient. “My boyfriend uses a condom every time and makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use.” The nurse asked the patient what she meant when she said her boyfriend “washes it every time”. The patient explained that her boyfriend washed the same old condom with hot water and soap before he used it. Every time. I had to kindly explain to a grown woman that condoms are a one-time use product. She had no clue.
3. More than one patient has come into my vet’s office complaining about their dog’s chest. One man thought his dog’s nipples were giant blood-sucking ticks. He actually tried prying at them and pulling on them, complaining that “they are impossible to remove…” A woman also came in complaining that her dog had “huge tumors” growing on its chest. Nope. Again, just nipples.
4. I’m a registered nurse, not a doctor, but here’s the story:
Patient was a newly diagnosed diabetic who needed to be taught how to inject insulin. So the diabetes educator did the good old routine of taking an orange, drawing up insulin, then injecting it into the orange. He then made the patient repeat this practice routine a few times. The patient goes home, etc. He comes back in a week and his blood sugar is out of control. They ask him if he's been taking his insulin and he goes "of course." So they decide to ask him to demonstrate how he injects insulin. The patient goes "sure, I just need an orange." They got him a orange and a vial of insulin with a syringe. So the guy draws up the insulin correctly, takes the syringe, injects it into the orange, and then says "and then I eat the orange." At this point I had to walk out because I nearly lost it right there…
5. Not a doctor, but a good friend of mine is. He once told that he had to explain to one of his patients that regular BandAids do not cure anything at all, but just cover up a wound. The patient in question had tried to cure her recently diagnosed Type-II diabetes by sticking bandaids all over herself...
6. Another lady I was seeing in clinic was diabetic, and she would come in every week with super high blood sugar levels (250-560ish), not knowing why they were so high. She kept a record of everything she ate, and all her food intake seemed fine. One day, her husband came with her, which was weird, and he slipped me a note while shaking my hand. It read, "Ask her about the Quiktrip slushies. She doesn't believe me that they have sugar in them." So I asked her if she was having any soda, lemonade, tea, ice cream, shakes or slushies, and she told me, like a light bulb had gone off in her head, "Well, I have been drinking about 3 of the 48oz Quiktrip slushies every day for awhile now. They're just so good! And they aren't food or drink, they're slushies! So they don't count, and I don't need to record them!" It was so hard to convince her that those are so full of sugar it isn't even funny.
7. I'm not an M.D. but I am an eye doctor. Recently, I had to tell a patient that no, you should not attempt to continue wearing a contact lens that was dropped in the toilet! Maybe that’s where your eye infection came from?
8. A woman came in for a well baby check with her 6 month old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby's bottle. The doctor started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn't be giving her baby chocolate milk, at which point she interrupts him and says "oh that isn't chocolate milk. Its coffee! He just loves it!"
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